


Christmas Gag gift

by lunawolf8074



Series: dwarf shorts [35]
Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Hobbit RPF
Genre: Christmas Party, England - Freeform, Gag Gifts, Hotel, Ireland, M/M, Masturbation, Other, Porn movie, Sex Toys
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-29
Updated: 2016-07-29
Packaged: 2018-07-27 13:25:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7619818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lunawolf8074/pseuds/lunawolf8074
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aidan gets a gift for christmas time from his friends and vows to never put it to use until that one moment when he can't take it anymore and temptation bursts out of control.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Christmas Gag gift

**Author's Note:**

> this is very explicit.  
> I found these gag gifts online and died laughing at them...look them up if your curious.
> 
> The Weener Kleener Soap
> 
> Collectors Edition Yatzee Game

It was a bright and sunny morning in London on this wintry day in December and all through the city the residents were getting ready for Christmas that was just around the corner. There was snow coating along the curb of the streets as the sounds of laughter could be heard in one of the homes decorated with sparkling lights along the outside...drawing peoples eyes towards it as they passed by. Within the elegant home a early Christmas party was being held by the owner, Richard Armitage, for his friends and past cast mates from the Hobbit-Battle of the Five Armies movie they had recently got done with filming. Everyone in the cast had gathered here in London for the HobbitCon event to meet and greet their numerous fans who were excited to attend...now it had finally drawn to a close and it was time for everyone to go their various ways for the holidays, but before they did it was decided for them all to convene at Richards posh home for a early Christmas party he had set up for them. The home was decorated in stunning green swags and twinkling lights that gave the home a very holiday feel to it and got those within into even more of the spirit of the holidays. The enormous Christmas tree sat in the corner of the sitting room where everyone had gathered to exchange gifts to one another and laughing at the ridiculous gifts they gave to each other as a gag. 

"Awww...Thorin..I mean Richard, you shouldn't have." Lee Pace held up a box that said Collectors Edition Hobbit - Yatzee Game for all to see...everyone laughed at the cute gift as Richard blushed a little bit at the praise coming from his long time friend.

 

"You're welcome Lee

"You're welcome Lee. I thought it was something you would like to play with your family when you go back home to Texas to visit with them." they both smiled at each other when another present was thrusted this time at Richard by James Nesbitt. He eagerly opened it up ..maybe he should have not been so eager since after all it came from James...and when he saw the contents he almost died of mortification, for there was the ultimate gag gift yet this day so far...a Weener Kleener soap ring. Richard read the label out loud as he died of mortification.

Large or small or inbetweener, nothing beats a cleaner weener. Solves that age old bathing dilemma and adds a "hole" new dimension of pleasure and fun to your shower or bath. Just a few quick strokes of the Weener Kleener will clean and sanitize most appendages. Caution: If the Weener Kleener ever becomes stuck, soak area with cold water.

He could not help the squawk from leaving his lips as he hid his face in his hands

He could not help the squawk from leaving his lips as he hid his face in his hands...laughter rolled around the room. "Oh my God! James! You are the worst." James clapped his hands in merriment as tears rolled down his face at how red his friend was...it was too priceless. 

"I ...I thought you might need it if you get stuck on another rural set again like we did in New Zealand. It might come in "Handy"...when you least expect it." James wiggled his eyebrows at the poor man whose face could rival a tomato at that moment...finally Richard gathered himself enough to fling a wad of wrapping paper at the laughing man, which only made him laugh harder. A few other gifts were exchanged and more laughter presumed as Aidan Turner watched on with obvious delight at the others embarrassment with each torn wrapping revealing its contents...that is until it was his turn. Aidan really knew better about opening a gift with recklessness like Richard had done...but for some reason he thought it would be safe since after all it came from Adam Brown...the one man who looked the most innocent out of everyone. Adam had this look on his face that exuded such innocence and sweetness that no one would ever believe him of doing anything so naughty....that was his trump card so to speak..Aidan didn't see it coming at all.

Aidan saw the beautifully wrapped package with a cheeky red cheeked Santa running around with little Ho-Ho-Ho's floating around like little music notes across the pretty paper...he swiftly tore into the wrapping to reveal a generic looking box. Aidan smiled as he opened one end and suddenly his eyes went wide and he began to stutter at what he saw there inside....it was a dildo...a glass looking sex toy...with a shriek Aidan closed the lid and glared at Adam who was howling in mirth at the poor mortified Irishman.

with a shriek Aidan closed the lid and glared at Adam who was howling in mirth at the poor mortified Irishman

"I...Uhmm... ADAM! What the...? Oh, You shite...i am so not going to use this...ever." there was howls of laughter from everyone as Aidan tried to hide his gift, which was hard but he kept it out of everyones hands for the duration of his stay. Finally it was time for him to leave...his blush still prominent on his face as he waved, hugged and wished everyone good bye with a shout of "MERRY CHRISTMAS" over his shoulder as he walked to his car with his gifts in a large bag within his hands. It was time for him to make his way back home to Ireland to spend the holidays with his family after several years of missed Christmas'.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was getting late as Aidan drove along the English roads, heading home when he decided he would pull over for the night at the Holiday Inn in a town called Warrington and get a restful nights sleep before starting onto the road again. He quickly checked into an executive room that came with luxurious amenities, like a large double shower..a large bed big enough for two and plush pillows that he can curl up to and sleep the road away from his bones...but first....he needed to tend to a need before sleep came to him. Aidan Turner was horny...that long drive with those vibrations from the car had resonated along his lower body..making him think of his boyfriend, Dean O'Gorman, who was at this moment on his way home to see his family. Aidan missed him greatly, especially since he had not been able to come to the party at Richards because his flight left really shortly after the HobbitCon was over...it was a very long flight back to New Zealand and Aidan couldn't go with him this time, since he promised his parents he would come home for the holidays. Next year Aidan knew it would be different because, this time next year it would be the both of them going...both promising no matter what they would spend the next Christmas together..both alternating each year between families from that point on. 

Aidan quickly hooked up his computer to the T.V. that the hotel provided for their guests and ran to take his shower to clean himself of the road before entertaining in his own pleasure..he resisted the urge to wank off in the shower and save it for the bed where he could indulge himself in total comfort. He did not want to linger to long in the spectacular shower and succumb to his desire to satiate himself..so he rushed in and out and wrapped a towel around his hips as he jumped onto the thick comforter covering the large bed next to his laptop there. With a delightful glee he pressed the play button on the screen and started the movie he carried with him for such times as he needed a little relaxing before sleep. As the movie began he unwrapped the towel from his waist and began to trail his hand down his chest through the hairs there...slowly meandering his way down to where they accumulated the most at. His fingers dragged through the curls there..softly stroking the flesh that laid in the dark nest around it and cupping it within his palm as it began to awaken up at the sight upon the screen...two men in all their glory were pressed tightly against each other as they kissed feverishly...both trying to win a game of dominance over the other until finally one gave in to the other.

Aidan began to stroke himself a little bit more in earnest as the scenes progressed with the guy on the screen being bent over and prepared for the other man's hard shaft that ached to be inside the other man, judging by the clear liquid seeping out of his tip. As Aidan stroked himself he realized that this time it was not going to be enough to make him come....so he begin to imagine that the dominant man was him and he was the submitting man was Dean. Still not enough, so Aidan began to speak out loud..dirty words softly filled the room as he stroked and massaged his hard length.

'Oh yeah baby....you like that. Feel my finger in that tight hole baby...stroke that pretty cock for me...oh yeah..." he kept on chasing for his orgasm that it seemed was still eluding him...it was time to change tactics. He took his hand off of himself and pausing the movie he got up from the bed..needing to grab the bottle of lube he kept with him in case of emergencies like this one. Aidan quickly opened his suitcase in search of it when he spotted the box that Adam had given him..the one that held the dildo in it...with a blush he grabbed the lube and went back to the bed. Aidan kneeled upon the bed this time, facing the T.V. screen as he squirted a dollop of lube onto his fingers and pressed play once again on the movie with his other hand. He kept his eyes glued to the screen as he mimicked the other guy on the screen that was the one on his hands and knees...switching his imagination to Dean being the dominate while he submitted to him. He reached behind himself and teased his own hole that fluttered in anticipation of being filled with his slick coated fingers...acting out what he saw on the screen before him.

It all felt divine to Aidan but it still was not enough...he needed more than just his fingers..he needed something hard to fill him and touch that special place deep inside that would make him see stars from the pleasure of it. With a growl at what he knew he had to do..he sharply paused the movie once more and stomped his way back over to his opened luggage where sat the toy nestled among his clothes. Aidan knelt down to picked it up and opened it...he saw a glass like dildo that he guessed was supposed to resemble a dick carved out of ice with flat stones hanging down from its tapered base...it was not to big that it would be classified as impossible to fit inside but it ample enough that he would feel the stretch when he inserted it and by the look of that narrowed base it was meant to stay inside ,hands free...a shivery feeling came over him at the thought of this filling him. As Aidan took it fully out a small remote fell out of the box and he smiled that this thing vibrated too and it was wireless so no cords to get in the way of his pleasure. Aidan gathered both items up , blushing the whole time...ignoring the piece of paper that fell out with the remote..and made his way back to the bed, knowing this time he would not be chasing his elusive orgasm, this time it was happening.

He slithered onto the bed back into position on his knees once more as he once again faced the screen...he swiftly slicked up the toy in his hand with the lube and slowly inserted it inside...gasping at how it was stretching his rim around it as it burned a bit. He took a deep breath once the head was in and waited for a few moments for him to adjust to its girth...once he was as relaxed as he could be he slowly sank it into himself inch by thick inch until it finally was seated deep inside and pressed against his prostrate with those flat stones resting against his own hanging ones...its narrow base made where his rim sealed back around the base ..keeping the toy deep inside of him without the chance of it falling out . It felt a little bit odd having something pressed softly against his own stones but it wasn't to uncomfortable in the slightest...just different. Aidan then reached over with one hand and clicked the movie back on, watching the men on the screen begin while his other hand took the remote for the vibrator in hand...thumb sitting on the toggle switch to turn it on the moment he was ready as he watched the two men before him. 

As he gazed intently at how the man was now taking two fingers deep inside of his tight channel Aidan could feel a ball of heat slowly building in him...finally the signs of coming closer to his arousal could be felt...this time he knew that he would feel that pleasure he desperately was seeking earlier would not evade him and he smiled as he flipped the little switch. Aidan could feel those soft vibrations caressing up and down inside his velvety tight channel and he moaned at how good it felt ...the fullness..the vibrations against his prostrate where the head of it sat, all the way to the base..but not the flat stones which made him wonder but only briefly for he was enjoying the way his body responded. With his still lubed up hand Aidan took his hard shaft into his hand and began to stroke it with sure twisting grips upon it...making that rigid length drool from the tip onto the bedding below him...his eyes never wavered from the men before him. In Aidans mind he envisioned that as he watched those two men , Dean was behind him now..doing all the nasty things he saw on the screen...the way the bigger man began to slowly ease the fat mushroomed head of his knob past that pink furl of the smaller man who moaned loudly at the intrusion...then sinking to the root into that gripping channel.

It didn't take long for the sounds of flesh slapping on the screen which turned Aidan on even more to the point he could feel that coil of arousal getting tighter in him...he wanted more...faster, so with his hand he toggled the switch up another notch, making the vibrations stronger inside. As those pulsating waves grew in strength, Aidan had to fall forward onto his hands to brace as its intensity grew , leaving him moaning and trembling from those waves wracking his inside. It really felt like it was moving inside of him by the way that glassy head would shift inside...tapping on his prostrate with what seemed like nudges and the stones against his began to softly vibrate , almost if there was a tongue giving small cat licks along it . As the dildo coaxed his body closer and closer to his climax Aidan stared at the screen...not noticing at all on the wall behind him a pulsating light show of greens , red, and whites flashing there...his mind was to wrapped up in the fantasy of Dean taking him hard like he enjoyed so much...his mind imagining it was Dean filling him to his limit with his own perfectly endowed shaft with its beautifully sponged head hitting his bundle of nerves that easily left Aidan begging for more. Aidan's strokes on his engorged length began to pick up speed as the man on screen began to pound hard into the other man, making him mewl under him as he clawed at that muscular back...Aidan pretended that was Dean doing that to him and he began to whimper out ...begging for Dean to pound him hard.

"Oh sweet Mary and Joseph...don't stop...please baby don't stop...I need more. Oh Dean you feel so fucking good...come on baby, fuck me open Dean...please..im so close..." words kept spilling from his lips as he begged for his imaginary lover to not stop. The ball of his orgasm got tighter and tighter until Aidan finally knew any second he was going to go over the edge...somewhere in his mind that still could think he decided to take it to the max and thumbed that switch all the way to Max setting...knowing this was going to be a powerful one. The second he flipped it those pulses inside became strong making them able to be felt down to his toes...and suddenly the sounds of music filled the room.

We wish you a Merry Christmas  
We wish you a Merry Christmas  
We wish you a Merry Christmas  
And a Happy New Year

At the sound of music echoing into the room ,Aidan screeched loudly and accidentally dropped the remote...those strong vibrations kept going inside of Aidan...slamming into his prostrate with almost bruising force as it churned out it pulsing waves into the unprepared man in time with the song. Aidan believed in that moment that his toy was possessed and it was trapped inside of him...still hammering his walls..and still singing as he fell onto his back because his trembling limbs would not support himself anymore. 

We won't go until we get some

We won't go until we get some  
We won't go until we get some  
So bring it right here

 

Aidan whimpered as his hand felt across the bed searching for the now missing remote...praying he found it soon so he could get this demonic dildo out of him but it seemed the Man upstairs was not listening because it was at that moment Aidan's long awaited for orgasm hit him and it hit him hard. With a scream that tore out of his throat leaving him feeling hoarse as his back bowed off the bed ,the force behind his ejaculation was so intense that it shot up his chest and beyond..splattering onto the bed and floor. Aidan's eyes rolled into his head at how powerful his orgasm was...his walls clenching and milking the fake cock deep inside him...he felt his vision going dark and he held on to his consciousness with gritted teeth. His hand sluggishly combed the bedding for that elusive remote...suddenly he felt a tiny oblong box under his fingertips and he tried to grasp it as another climax began to build extremely fast internally. Seconds before it crashed over him and pushed him into darkness, Aidan hit the off button then he knew no more as he collapsed into exhaustion.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Several hours later Aidan regained his senses and opened his bleary eyes to see his room still the same as before he had blacked out..the T.V. screen showed blue signaling that the movie he had been watching was over now. His body felt like jello from how intense his climaxes had been...with a groan he gathered his strength to roll over as his body protested vehemently at the movement. Aidan felt something hard in his hand and looking down he saw the remote there...he quickly set it down and growled at his tormentor from several hours ago.

Aidan was torn between calling his friend up and cursing his name or kissing his feet the next time he saw the man

Aidan was torn between calling his friend up and cursing his name or kissing his feet the next time he saw the man...but that meant either way he would have to admit that he used the gift and he knew the teasing he would get from Adam then. He couldn't risk it but sending a nice potted poinsetta plant to the man would not clue him in. As he moved Aidan felt the toy still imbedded deeply in his backside and with a pain filled moan he carefully removed it from his swollen abused hole and let it fall from his fingers. That's when his eyes saw the piece of paper that had fallen out of the box that the gift came in and easing his aching body off the bed he picked it up from the floor ..reading the descriptions upon its glossy sheets and Aidan wanted to beat his head into the wall.

When the holidays are bringing you down and your feeling like your sex life is lacking any joy in it ,then you need ....

~THE NORTH POLE~ 

With its hefty length and thick girth of this 8" long, 2" thick vibrating dildo, it's sure to make you believe there is still a touch of Christmas magic! Molded from a real penis and set in acrylic glass for a look of ice, this quality acrylic is skin-soft and smooth. Enjoy luxuriously strong multi-speed vibrations centered at strategic points and where you want it most. Each stage of vibration gifts you with a new level of the holiday experience you can't get from any other dildo on the market. Its 3 levels of intense vibrations and its pulsating massaging balls aid in bringing holiday joy to the bedroom. The classic sounds of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" and pulsing holiday lights sets the mood for a VERY MERRY CHRISTMAS for you and your partner. And the wireless remote means hours of hands-free thrills that both of you can enjoy! Uses 2 AA batteries (sold separately). 

Aidan had a sudden bolt of inspiration as he gazed at the note in his hand...he knew someone else who may enjoy this gift. With a twinkle in his eyes as he slowly limped/crawled towards the shower to ease his aching muscles he began to hum a little tune under his breath.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

A/N: Moral of this tale is...while real men don't need to read instructions...a smart man will.


End file.
